With the March for Life taking place later this month, many of us will find ourselves discussing the abortion issue throughout the month of January. Since our goal is not only to stop the evil act of abortion, but also convert the hearts of those who participate in abortion or support abortion, we must use extra care when entering conversations about abortion. As Catholics we must work diligently to ensure that we speak in absolute charity by balancing the truth about abortion with sincere pastoral sensitivity.
When discussing abortion there are two key things we must keep in mind: 1.) We’re discussing abortion. 2.) We’re talking to and about real human persons. That first point might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised at how easily we can unintentionally derail our own arguments by using ambiguous language. You have probably seen what happens when someone begins an abortion debate with a comment like “I’m pro-life”. The most common reply to that statement is usually something like this: “Oh yea?! How many babies have you personally adopted?! What are you doing to end childhood hunger and abuse? How pro-life can you be if ….” You get the picture. By using an ill-defined, open-ended term, we’ve unintentionally allowed our opponent to move the discussion away from abortion and onto other unrelated topics, something extremely difficult to come back from. As Pro-Life Catholics with a consistent ethic of the dignity of the human person from conception to natural death, we are of course intensely concerned with all of those aforementioned issues, but we didn’t come to discuss childhood hunger and abuse. We came to discuss abortion.
This is why when we are discussing abortion it is better to open with something like ‘I’m anti-abortion’. It might seem a harsh term at first, but when we start with this we can begin actually discussing abortion instead of trying to defend our Catholic understanding of a pro-life ethic regarding a myriad of unrelated social issues. When you start with this sharp and pointed statement, you’ll get your opponent to define what they think abortion is. This is where real dialogue can begin. Abortion is not healthcare. It’s not freedom. It’s not a choice. Abortion is the direct and intentional killing of an innocent pre-born human being. Once they hear you proclaim that truth, you’ll be able to gauge by their response what’s really going on in their hearts and minds.
This is the point in the conversation where we must remember that our ‘opponent’–as well as the subjects of our discussion–must be afforded the same dignity and charity we assign to the unborn. Sadly, it is not uncommon for anti-abortion advocates, even Catholics, to use phrases like “Abortion is murder” or to call those who participate in abortion “killers”. This is profoundly unhelpful and harmful language; we should work on purging it from our systems.
Post-abortive persons who have come to regret their decision can easily be derailed on their journey of healing by this type of language. If they are surrounded by rhetoric that labels them as killers, then they will come to believe they are killers and before long they will come to despair from God’s mercy. Dr. David C. Reardon in his book “The Jericho Plan” writes: “The greatest tragedy in killing is what this sin does to the killers. This does not deny that the killed have been unjustly deprived of life, but we know that God will be merciful toward these innocent victims. We should be more concerned about the eternal fate of killers”. How can we care for the souls of our post abortive brothers and sisters if our rhetoric has labeled them only by their sin? We should be less concerned about being ‘correct’ and more concerned about the pastoral sensitivity that must be afforded to these persons. Yes, post-abortive persons have killed their children via abortion, but they are not a killer at their core and to call them so is uncharitable and unfruitful.
Remember, 1 in 4 women are expected to have an abortion in their lifetime. We are surrounded by post-abortive persons every day without even realizing it. This reality should encourage us to engage in discussions about abortion with a large amount of charity and sensitivity. It is true that we must always speak the truth that abortion is wrong. Abortion does kill an innocent human child. This act is evil, but we know that those who participate in abortion are not necessarily evil. I encourage you to mediate on St. John Paul II’s words in paragraph 99 of Evangelium Vitae in this regard. In it, JPII gives us a great example of how to speak directly to post abortive women in a way that is pastorally sensitive yet truthful. He writes, “Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.”
Do not be afraid to proclaim the truth that abortion is evil. Certainly, words that simply define abortion like ‘kill’ and ‘sin’ will still hurt post abortive persons, but this may be God’s way of spurring their conscience to seek reconciliation, not a label that describes or defines who they are. It can be just as harmful to stay completely silent about abortion out of fear of hurting someone. If we do not speak about abortion, we will not be able to stop it, and we will not be able to offer mercy to those caught in its aftermath. It is therefore critical that we as Catholics work to ensure our language surrounding this issue is both pastorally sensitive and unflinchingly true and honest. By taking the time to use the proper language to hold these two worlds together, it will be possible in one conversation to save several souls, the lives of those children who live in danger of abortion, and the souls of those persons who are now able to seek reconciliation through Christ and his Church. After all, the Church is a place that does not needlessly attack or label its sinners, but welcomes them.
By Emily Branscum
